This journal is home to my journey through the Dedicant Program of Ár nDraíocht Féin (ADF). I will be entering my essays and various writings required for the program, as well as personal struggles and triumphs along this Path. Comments, opinions, ideas and critiques of the writings are appreciated. After all “Why not excellence?” I have begun this journey with no ending insight or needed. I hope it last many lifetimes and I continue to grow. So do not expect speedy progress documented here for the Dedicant Program, it will be written…”As fast and an Oak Tree…”

Below this post are all of my entries to a live journal I had set up for the Dedicant journey. I have made the decision to consolidate some things in attempts to make life a bit more simple for myself. I will be deleting the live journal in a week or so, as I have already done my poetry live journal. All further entries, essays, etc. regarding my journey with the Dedicant Program with ADF will be placed on this page.

July 15, 2007

This morning I started to rewrite my daily devotion because it just was not feeling right anymore.
I felt like I was wasting my time
I am very worried now.

Beltaine

A few pics from Beltaine….will put more on my website later this week. 


Lakota likes bannock!


Beltaine Fire

I am so confused…

My protogrove did a Rite last night and to get the omen we used the “Rock, Paper, Scissors” thing. We have incorporated this technique in our rites to get that dang omen because none of us know how to use them rock things with stuff painted on them and when I used “cards” I just kept pulling out the 3 of clubs and it made no sense to me. We always play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” so I figured this would be something the protogrove would understand. Anyway….myself and the other person both kept getting the same thing.

Is became very difficult to get the omen and I was wondering…

We have been working really hard on a website for the protogrove. We have it “decently” started, but still have a lot of work to do on it, a lot of things to add and such. I may not be able to do too much the next few days as we have just discovered we have lost at least 3/4, if not more, of our garden to the sudden hard freeze that has hit the south this past few days. I thought we were going to make it through it OK, but today the temps dropped to the low 20’s with wind chills even lower. There was no way to save the tomato plants and much more. Everyone here has lost almost everything. A lot of sad farmers tonight. 

But anyway, I have enough set up to share the link on here. Please keep in mind my goal was to keep it simple and informative. Also, it is new, like the protogrove, and there is not much there yet, but we will continue to grow. Wish I could say the same for the hundreds of dollars that died in the garden today. 

If you register at teh site and have a problem getting your password in the mail, email me and let me know, or tell me here. I will give you a temp password then you can go in and change it. We are having some weird problem with that part of the site. If you have any suggestions or anything, please do share, I am open to all. 

Forest Of Tsalagi Protogrove, ADF

O Earth Mother

Your child comes to you in sadness on this day

In grief I lie upon your breast and mourn

What have they done to you dear Mother?

Your once beautiful face beaten, broken, ripped and torn

Flesh of your offspring are scattered limb from limb

Your heart ripped open as you are left to seep your death from within

Your fever too high now to calm

You can no longer breathe due to stench from the machines used to rip apart your soul

I have failed you

 

O Earth Mother

When all is lost

When there is no more left to die

When you mighty sons and daughters are all destroyed

When your wounds are so deep they no longer heal

When you finally give up and in desperation destroy yourself to end the pain

 

Dear Mother

Find pity for me

As I lie here and caress you

Soothe what wounds I can with these tears

But alas my tears are no longer enough

The rivers inside my soul cannot cry enough to heal you now

Please know I place you above all

In admiration this short life I have loved you above all else

Have pity for me Dear Mother

 

I beg of you to take my soul with you when you leave

Week Five

Having taught Nature Awareness, Wilderness Survival and Environmental Education for most of my life, in addition to working in the past as an Interpretive Specialist for the Forest Service, I was excited about this weeks “homework”. I feel though, that it would be rather odd to answer the questions and perform the activities, as if it were my first time doing it. I live on 28 acres of land at the base of the Appalachian Mountain and Cherokee National Forest and that has been my “playground” of sorts since I was 9 years old and took my first trip alone into the mountains. So I have cheated this week. Instead of doing the required homework, I am posting something I wrote about “Wilderness” and two links. The first link is to occultcorpus.com where I have a thread in the Art forum that contains the majority of my “Nature” oriented writings, paintings, sketches and general thoughts. The second one is a link to my Santeetlah Live Journal that contains poetry as well. 

SOMEWHERE….

There still exists wildness

I have seen it, felt it, lived it and became one with it.

Wildness:

A virgin forest at night, the moonlight to guide your way. Leave that flashlight in the pack. Hear the night sounds, call an owl, listen for the answer, let the stream speak to you and share the secrets of the years….of lifetimes, open your soul to the soul of a tree, touch it, feel it, hear it speak to you, it shall tell you of years gone by, hundreds of years of knowledge hidden among the branches of time. Feel fear, it is good for you, for without feeling, knowing it, facing it one shall never overcome it. Hear the sounds of the night creatures. Feel the presence of the coyote, bobcat, smell the lingering scent of a bear making its way to bed down for the night. Remove anything material, stand naked in the moonlight, enter the stream and feel the cool water rush over your body, washing troubles, worries, pain downstream away from you. Find a moss covered rock, lie down on it and stare at the stars, let the treetops sing you to sleep with their movement. Hear the whip-poor-will call to you, feel the heartbeat of the rock with your hands, remove your clothes and walk nude, allowing the wind to engulf you, barefoot…..feel the Mother beneath your feet, bend down and touch her, thank her for the wildness

Wildness:

A forgotten graveyard in the middle of the Forest. Overgrown with sassafras trees and mountain laurel. No one around for 30 miles. Just you and the Spirits that reside there. Smudge yourself before entering, walk slowly, touch the stones, sit by them and ask them who they are, why are they there. Lay down, look at the sky or close your eyes and allow the Spirits to dance around you. Call the nighthawk to you, welcome all things related, let them share their joy with you, listen if they desire to share their pain, comfort them. Lay down beside a grave, learn everything you can about the occupant, become him (thank you John). Allow your soul to be engulfed by the mist as it rises from our Mother, soothing the souls that may be lost, opening the realm so the Spirits may share the wildness with you is they wish

Wildness:

Leave as much as you can at home, away from the wild, Take only what is needed. Enter a Wilderness Area, stay for weeks, months, alone. Forget what day it is, forget what week it is, forget the month….forget time. Talk to the trees, the animals, the rocks. Bath in the stream, eat from Nature, make a debris hut in a different location each night and see how Nature can comfort you and keep you safe. Eat nuts, mushrooms, sorrel, berries. Taste sourwood, spicebush, bee balm, persimmons. Sleep on the highest mountain top with no tent, no shelter, let the trees protect you, explore caves, climb trees….see what the Eagle, Hawks and Owls see. Crawl on your belly, face as close to the forest floor as you can get it, smell nature, see what the snakes, shrews and chipmunks see. Stand atop a waterfall….see what the Sun and Moon see. Swim in the streams, look under rocks, catch crawdads and become friends with them, see what the fish see.

Become Wildness

Touch The Earth (my poetry and art on occultcorpus.com

Santeetlah Live Journal (My Live Journal for most of my poetry)

I have a quick question and hope someone has a quick answer. I am typing up my First High Day Recap for the DP and I am not sure how much detail I am supposed to go into for the outline. When I put the basic outline of the rite down: Preparation, Procession, Opening Prayers, Statement Of Purpose, etc., do I need to actually write the entire prayers and such down in the outline, or just write they were done?

Does anyone know?

Here are a few things I have added to my altar area lately:

I got the lanterns for my candles because I was having a very hard time with the candle holders I was using and the wind blowing them out all the time. Also they were falling over or getting knocked off the altar by critters. So the lanterns are working perfectly now. The bird bath was a birthday gift from my daughter and works perfect. There was also a birdfeeder added yesterday but I do not have a pic of it yet. More pics HERE.

Week Two

First Oath: This was done at Lost Creek (picture below) in the Cherokee National Forest on June 11, 2006.
Basically I took what was written in the Dedicant Manual and altered it somewhat to fit my need and soul connection to this beautiful, sacred place I visit often for spiritual uplifting, grounding and centering. I took the picture from the very spot I did this Oath.

Today I lay upon your breast
Darling mother of mine
I placed my face upon a stone
Weathered by your children
Wind and Rain
I felt your heart beat
From deep within this brother of mine
And I cried

Through misty eyes I looked before me
Your beauty warms by soul
An Oath to make
Before an assembly of my peers
Trees, Stones, Streams
My brothers and sisters in animal form
All come to witness
And I cried

I sit before you humbled
In awe I speak my words
“Seeker of the Old Ways”
My dearest friends the Trees
Sigh knowingly in approval
“Worshipper of the Elder Gods”
And my glance falls to the stones
All knowing, ancient and wise
And I cried

Hear me dear Mother
I am blessed by your love
My vows hold the truths of my heart
I shall cherish and adore you
Beyond my last breath
Then my soul shall continue the walk
To honor you as my Goddess above all
These things I swear to the Gods
May the mates of my soul bear witness
These trees I call my brethren

I shall strive to enhance the beauty that is you

Humbly

And I cried

With your sweet breath some call the wind
You dry my eyes

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