Today I have been thinking a lot about Laurel Branch. This is a place I have hiked in the Cherokee National Forest quiet a bit, but have not been to in years now. A few weeks ago, it seemed as if I was being pulled to go up there. There are some unbelievable trees along this branch. There are several stream crossings as well. But it is a very nice hike from the top of the mountain to the bottom. When I think about this trail, I realized the last time I hiked it was when my Mam-maw was dying. I took a video camera with me. She had wanted to go hiking with me so badly but never was able to do so. The day she told me she was dying, she had tears in her eyes and said her hiking days were over. She said she was lucky because she could go hiking through my eyes now. I took the camera as a surprise for her and filmed a hiking trip. Along the way, I talked to her on the camera as if she were right there beside me the entire trip. I still have the tape. There are funny things in it and some very touching things that make me cry when I watch it. She laughed and cried when she watched the tape as I do to this day.

I realized today, I have not been up there since she died. Just driving past the trailhead is very emotional for me. Then I realized….she died 11 years ago. I cannot believe it has been that long. But then there was that call to go back to Laurel Branch Trail just weeks ago. Then last night happened. I rarely “dream” about John and am still trying to figure out in my head if last night was a dream or if we were out together. But he was there and I saw him on the other side of Laurel Branch. He was smiling at me and saying “come to the laurel Sarah”, which is what he calls me sometimes. I just stood on the one side of the branch and watched him and he kept trying to get me to follow him down the creek. Suddenly he was standing beside me and I could feel warmth near me, usually it is very cold when he is near. This time is was warm and he leaned over to me and told me I must go to the branch before next year. He said it was urgent that I go.

It has been on my mind all morning now. There are literally thousands of places to go hiking where I live. Hundreds upon hundreds of trails and I have so many in mind I want to go experience again. Laurel Branch is not one that I had intended to visit again. It would not even be on my list of the top 25 places I want to go hike. But I am being called there and I do not know why. So…. I know John well enough to know he will not leave me alone about it. I will go as soon as I get the chance. I will have my daughter drop me off at the top of the trail and hike the entire length from top to bottom. Whatever it is I am supposed to know, see or feel….I will find it.

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Well I applied for protogrove status in the 26th of October. I got an email from someone at ADF asking me for my membership date. I was thinking of someone else and sent an email saying June 26, but suddenly realized my mistake and sent another one correcting it to April 26th. I did not hear anything for a month. 

So I broke down and emailed the person asking if they got my correct information. They stated they had been moving and they think they forgot to post it, but would check and see. He said if he had not posted it he would then do so. I have not heard anything back at this time so I have no clue what my status is, if it has been “posted” or anything. I have good faith that he took care of it the day I sent the email. I guess I will wait another month and if I do not hear anything, I will email him again. 

Now I was aggrevated at first, simply because I am anxious to be able to tell everyone in my group they are now members of an ADF protogrove. But I do realize that ADF is volunteer based and patience is a must with this as it is with anything in life. So I am not letting it worry me at this time. I am sure it will be taken care of very soon. It does not hinder my studies and progress in the Dedicant Program. 

I am off work until Monday and also just got a new computer. I was struggling with my essays for awhile because with certain things going on at work it became difficult for me to do my essays on my laptop from the office, so I just left ti at the office and did a lot of reading during that time….and a lot of overtime…..so I could buy me a home PC. That has been done now and I am thrilled. I now can get these essays typed up, edited and posted. I am making steady progress I believe and am not dissatisfied. 

I am conitnuing to use my altar and have had some wonderful devotionals there. I cannot think of anything at this time I need to change other than replace the Fall Mums with a winter evergreen bush, maybe with a few red berries. I may go with plain evergreen and place offerings to my Nature Friends there, like birdseed cookies, fruit and nuts, etc. I think that would go well with the entire feeling of it all. 

I have decided to re-write my extra essays on virtues and include another one that has come to mind recently. I have actually been working on them and will be getting all of this up very soon. We will be clearing the area and cleansing it for the main circle for the Protogrove to use very soon. It is almost Winter now and will be easier to clean the land and prepare it for the altars and benches and such. I saw a fountain I would love to get and may do so after Yule. 

So for now I feel good about things and they are moving along. No complaints and no questions right now. I am still thoroughly enjoying the program and ADF.

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10-26-06

I applied for Protogrove status today and am WAY excited. I am not sure how long it takes to hear something, I kind of hope it is before Samhain, but if not that is OK. 

I have so many plans and ideas for my Protogrove (assuming I am approved)!

Have been mega busy lately. I have several essays done adn ready to post, just need to edit them and get them up. The shrine is great and I have been blessed with tremendous peace there already. I am so thankful for the area and the opportunity to enjoy this part of my life.

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I guess I get confused on things too easily. I assisted in starting Occult Corpus and one main reason I assisted in this was to provide some Indo-European Forums for discussion. In addition, I was hoping to discuss the various Druid Organizations and even started a thread to for the ADF members to discuss the Dedicant Program and for non members to ask questions so they can be pointed to the ADF website. Next thing you know, we get an email stating basically the Dedicant Thread should not be there because non ADF member should not read the discussion of the Program and how do we verify membership. I am very confused about this because many of us have live journals and there is no way to verify the people who read and comment in your journal are actually members of the ADF and/or dedicant program. So, why is it OK to discuss the program on LJ where non members can read it but not OK to have a thread on a forum for Dedicants to discuss their progress? The thread in question was locked and will be deleted if I cannot get this straightened out. I think I will contact someone from ADF and see what the problem is.

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In the Dedicant Program, we are asked to write an essay on our home shrine. I have completed mine (shrine/altar) to the point of using it on a daily basis and am very pleased with the feeling I am getting there. It becomes stronger and stronger each day I step into this area and I am developing a good connection to commune with powers/deity/spirits while there. In addition to this, I am finding that the peace I need and the balance I need so desperately to make it through my days is freely accessible by spending time in this area.

I would like some opinions on something however. My representation of the World Tree on my altar is a ceramic tree incense burner that Q gave me as a Yule gift last year. I feel it is perfect for this as I fell in love with this incense burner when I saw it, and have the matching censer as well. My “Well” is represented with a small Cauldron and 3 candles for fire. In addition, I use to censer as an offering bowl, have incense to represent the sky, small shell with sand from the ocean to represent sea and crystals/stones resting on soil from a sacred area representing land. There are a few other things on the altar as well.

My question is this: When I am meditating, doing my devotional, visualizing anything in regards to the World Tree….my eyes and mind go to the trees that surround my altar, the mountain to the East, the Oak trees beside me, the Sweet Gum tree in front of me, etc. I rarely focus on the ceramic tree in the center of my altar that I have placed there to represent the World Tree.

Is it a waste? Should I remove it? How will I explain to those who merely look at the picture of my altar in my essay that one of the main focuses of the altar is missing from the picture? Does the “tree” have to be ON the altar? It is suggested the “well”, in my case the cauldron, be at the base of the “tree” so if I remove it, then it will not be at the base. Is it of great importance that these items be placed as suggested in the handbook? How can I have my mountains, my surrounding trees, represent the World Tree for me if they are not actually ON my altar? Any opinions?

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For a few weeks now, myself and several other “Founders” have been working on new Forums on the Internet. We all use to frequent another set of forums, however, the owner decided to disappear off the face of the earth or something, leaving us with hacked forums and no way to fix things. So we made a new home for everyone. 

I normally would not post this in my Dedicant LJ, however I am trying to get the Indo-European Forum up and running. I have Druidry and Asatru Forums there and am woking on building these up with resources. Of anyone is interested, stop by. There is something for every form of interest you could possibly have there. In addition, if there is not a thread about a particular interest or subject you like, start one. All you have to do is register. When doing so, you can list me as a referrer. My name on the forums is Forest Breath (with the space and caps)

The link is Occult Corpus

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I grabbed a few more of the planters while they were on sale and got some pretty Mums to go in them. I think it really made the Altar look so much better and it feels so comfy there.

I also got a birdfeeder and put it up at the corner of the area and put some windchimes up as well. I have already had a chickadee and cardinal eating at the feeder and the other morning I was out there a little after 5am and there was a deer standing about 8-10 feet from the altar. I was so excited to see this. This morning I found a tiny little feather in the little platter thing the tree is holding (my incense burner). That was super cool!

I have been doing morning devotionals and also spending time out there meditating and just finding peace. I am so thrilled with the area and could not be more pleased with how it is all falling into place. I have a few new pics with just the incense burner on the altar. I will get more with the other things in a day or so. I am still in the middle of Harvest and it has taken me a little longer to get things in the freezer and canned and such this year.

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I finally got an altar set up in my shrine area and have started using it for daily devotionals. I have taken some pictures without items on it at this time. When I have more time this weekend, I plan to take pics with my items on it.