Hospitality is defined as “Cordial and generous reception of or disposition toward guests” Yet another virtue in which I am lacking growth.

It is a very rare occasion there are guests in my home but I try to make them comfortable when they are here. I have invited strangers into my home. I recall once long ago, when I was working as a desk clerk in a local motel, a situation that tested my hospitality. I discovered real fast that, although it was difficult to understand the owners from India, they were cheating hard working Americans by telling lies. They had billboards on the Interstate stating the rooms were $19.95! When poor weary travelers stopped for a cheap room, I was told to check out their car. If it was a nice car, I was instructed to tell them we did not have any of THOSE rooms available. Before it was all said and done, they were charged almost $40 a room, which was double their advertised price. One night an elderly gentleman came in from New York. He was on his way to Florida to attend the funeral of his brother. He thought he could drive all the way through, but realized he could not and because the death was unexpected, he had limited resources for the trip. The owner had a camera and microphone at the desk, watching her desk clerks from her bed in the back. I had gotten in trouble to night before, for renting a room for 19.95. When I informed the man we had no more cheap rooms, I could see despair on his face. I could not handle it anymore. I said “we have no more cheap rooms sir and we never have any cheap rooms because it is a lie, it is a blatant lie to get you in the door and take advantage of you.” I told him I live about 15 minutes away. If he would like to follow me, he could crash in my spare room and eat a hot breakfast in the morning. He was shocked but knew I was serious. I was pleased he took me up on the offer. As the owner ran into the room yelling things I did not understand, I handed her the key and said goodbye…forever. I called my husband and told him to make the bed in the spare bedroom, we had a guest staying the night. He slept well, got a huge country breakfast at 6am, tried to pay me (I refused) and 2 weeks later sent me a thank you card stating he could not believe a stranger would do that in this day and time.

When I think back about it, I guess maybe I could have put us in danger. It never crossed my mind at the time however. All I saw was a sad man in need and a greedy woman taking advantage of the situation. I have a long way to go and a lot of growth to do when it comes to hospitality. And maybe inviting strangers into my home like I did was not the brightest thing to do. But in my heart I felt, to do otherwise, would cheat myself of pride, compassion and the chance to help an individual in need. I do not regret it and feel it is situations such as this that do show me I have the ability to trust again and that I do have compassion in me, even when I try to convince myself I don’t.

Share This

So I have been working hard on my essays and have some written this past week and posted. I feel OK about them initially, but may go back and make some revisions later on. My plan is to finish the essays on virtues, write short ones on a few extra virtues not listed in the Dedicant Handbook and finally, write a short summary comparing all the virtues I have chosen to write about and my perceived importance of those particular virtues in this chosen path.  I hope to have this part of my studies completed within the next 10 days.

In addition to this, I have been working on my “home shrine”. I have chosen, as noted in another entry, to place this outdoors. I chose this for many reasons. I have the space for it out there, my “home” to me is defined as the Earth that directly surrounds my home, I have been blessed to have 28 acres of woods and fields to call mine and I am more comfortable outside than in. My peace, connection with all things spiritual, love for trees, nature, animals, etc. comes from being a part of it. It seemed only natural to me to place my “home” shrine in my “home” and that home is with my kindred spirits of Nature.

I have been fretting over particular Gods and Goddesses. I have also been reading the journals and writings of others, shrines dedicated to particular Deities and for some reason I allowed myself to feel pressured to “choose” the one(s) I desired to dedicate a shrine to. I actually allowed myself to become stressed over this. I buried myself in my studies, trying to find one that I felt was perfect for ME. I studied so many, asked so many questions, debated this one and that one….to the point of feeling as if I were drowning in Deities! They all began to run together and I felt more frustrated than I have since beginning this program.

Finally I decided I needed to chill! I went to my area and asked for guidance. I did not call upon this name or that name, I just ask the spirits of Nature that reside here with me in my HOME to help me figure out what to do. I had gotten to the point of feeling like I could not start putting my shrine together unless I decided on certain Gods or Goddesses to dedicate it to.

In reality this was nonsense. I was missing the whole point. I feel like a clueless idiot for allowing myself to get so confused and unfocused at this part of the program.

So my present decision is to start putting that shrine together this weekend while I am off work. I will make sure to cover the basics: the Fire, the Well, the Tree. It will be a place where the Powers will feel comfortable and free to enter when called upon, where they may obtain the offerings left for them, where I can enter the area and know that I have stepped into a sacred space that I may share with any number of Gods or Goddesses that choose to bless me with their presence. Eventually, in the future, there may be things added to this area to represent particular Gods and/or Goddesses, but for now…..it will be a sacred place, a home shrine where I will go in peace and seclusion for my daily devotionals and where Deity, Gods, Goddesses, Ancestors, Nature Spirits, etc. can come and go as they desire. I am more relaxed now and focused. I am grateful!

Share This

In my life I have seen so many people start things and never finish them. Even my own Father started a family and then one day decided to quit, never to be seen again. We seem to live in a time where quitting is the norm. Not only in the areas of education, the work force and attempting to be mature, responsible adults, but in so many aspects of life nowadays. Quitting is what is expected and therefore quitting is what we have as a result. It seems society itself at times has a desire to see failure in others. The negative outlook many have, runs not only their lives, but the lives of the generations after them as well.

Perseverance in something can be as simple as making an Oath to do daily devotions and DOING them or something as vast as desiring a college degree and working hard for many years to achieve it. I think what really becomes important is not doing these things to impress or appease someone else, but doing them for yourself because YOU alone feel it is for the betterment and growth of your soul to achieve that goal, no matter what obstacle is placed before you. I work with mentally retarded adults. Just today one of my favorite clients walked into my office and informed me she thinks God had his eyes shut when he made her because he messed up and now she can never get married. She faces more struggles and obstacles than many could begin to imagine. No one in her life had ever given her the slightest bit of encouragement or hope that she could achieve this goal. I simply told her I don’t think her God messed up at all and the only thing stopping her is herself….if she wants it…she alone can overcome her Father, Brother, and the majority of society and have it. I guess there are some of us who do have that desire to see others persevere. “Steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness.” With this definition, along with desire and sometimes encouragement, perseverance could be possible to most all in any situation.

As a virtue, I can see where this would be very important in following a particular belief system or spiritual path. To achieve what you desire from that particular Path, one must set goals, be persistent, have the belief and follow through….no matter what obstacles are tossed before them in the process. Sometimes the best things in life take the hardest work to achieve.

Share This

Well I could lie and say I have great integrity just so this essay will be my best! The truth is, I fall short on this particular virtue! In looking at this and the description of what is expected in this essay, I came to the realization that there is no use ignoring it. I may be strong in courage, be as pious as any other, have a grand vision in me and perhaps even have some wisdom in there somewhere….but integrity is something I certainly could stand to improve upon.  

An online dictionary explains integrity as 1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. 2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness. 3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

I have no problem keeping an oath, promises, secrets. I feel I can be trusted as well. I lack in self confidence and often question myself on how fair I am to other individuals. I think my position of being a state investigator for my agency at work has helped me strengthen my integrity. You are trained to look at every aspect of a situation and heavily weigh the consequences of your recommendations in your investigative report. In doing this, I have noticed I am more fair and understanding in most situations and this has helped me in dealing with individuals and situations in my day to day life. Admittedly, I am not so fair to myself at times. In regards to respect, I have the utmost respect for most people, things, spiritual choices, and more. I lack respect for certain types of individuals.

I wish I had been able to offer some form of great insight in this essay. If nothing else I have to be honest and in doing so I openly admit this is an area in which I need growth and improvement. Fortunately for me, and those around me, I do see myself improving in this area with the help of this Path I have chosen to walk, the good people I have chosen to be a part of my life now, and a more mature and open mindset than I allowed myself to have in the past.

Share This

In looking at the beginning of this essay, knowing I must write of personal courage, I certainly did not feel very courageous. I stared at the definition: The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

There is one thing that comes to mind when I think of personal courage and because of the ability I had to face and deal with it, I have chosen to make it the focus of my essay.

My Mother was diagnosed with cancer. What was to be a simple hysterectomy turned out to be a death sentence. My siblings pulled away and from a distance tried to dictate her every move and decision. Often making the entire thing worse than what it was to begin with. I often found myself exhausted, confused and crying alone in my car, office, bed. I kept telling myself verbally that I could not deal with it all. What I did not realize that, in searching for a proper way to deal with it, I was in reality….facing it head on.

I supported her decision to try radiation and chemo. My siblings refused to take her for treatments. I took her to every one of them. We had never really been extremely close. Spending hours a day with each other at these treatments, the 2 hour drive back and forth to treatments, gave me a chance I may never have had. A chance to form a bond with her, settle differences and find reasons to laugh and smile together. I did not know until later how important these moments were. In facing the small battles, it gave me strength to face the most difficult one of my life.

The last four days of her life were the most horrible. I had hoped for a peaceful, easy passing. It was not meant to be. With no hospice or home health care, I spent four days holding a garbage can for her to vomit blood into. I was able to give shots to her when I had never stuck a needle into another human. I was able to find the strength to look her in the eyes when she asked what she was throwing up and tell her calmly it was blood. And when she asked me how much longer she had, and I repeated what the Doctor told me over the phone, only a few days, I was able to not lose my mind and fall apart when she needed me most. She never wanted a stranger to take care of her, she never wanted strange faces to stare at her when she took her last breath. I would like to think that she was proud of my courage during those last days. As I heard her lungs fill with blood and watched her look into my eyes with a silent “this is it” look, holding her hand as she said goodbye with her eyes….I exhibited courage. The courage continues when I face situations of helping others deal with the death of a parent or other loved one, especially a death not so very peaceful.

Share This

There are various definitions of “VISION”.

1. a. The faculty of sight; eyesight b. Something that is or has been seen.

2. Unusual competence in discernment or perception; intelligent foresight.

3. The manner in which one sees or conceives of something.

4. A mental image produced by the imagination.

5. The mystical experience of seeing as if with the eyes the supernatural or a supernatural being.

6. A person or thing of extraordinary beauty.

 In writing this essay, I have tried to focus my thoughts on my inner vision and how I strive to portray it to others, living my life in honor of my personal vision, in attempts to enhance the possibility of other individuals growing in a positive way through my actions. I would think not just one definition could explain my concept of vision. Perhaps in looking at the definitions above, numbers 2, 3 and 4 all play a part in what I attempt to cover with these written words.

When I think of my vision for my life, my future, my spirituality, I feel it is impossible to focus merely on the MY aspect of it all. In living and acting out my vision, if done correctly, it should not only enhance the “MY”, but compliment and serve as betterment to the WHOLE of it all. My life is a reflection of those in my past who have been a positive infulence on me. Almost like taking the past, using it to develop your present with a vision of how those two things can best be used to lead to a more positive future.

I strive for inner peace in the things I do in this life. When I achieve this, it not only brings an outer peace, but much more to my surroundings. When you emit this positive, a peace, patience, happiness, those around you cannot help but feel more of the positive and therefore benefit from your internal vision. I want to do positive in my life, in all aspects of it. Spiritually, I want to not only get what I need to strive and be happy and healthy, but I desire to give back as much as possible through piety in order to achieve this and balance this part of my vision. I attempt to live as environmentally conscious as I can. Trying not to take more from my Earth Mother than I give back is important to me. In doing this, I hope others may see this action and learn or grow from it. This is merely one aspect of the importance of vision in my life and how I desire to incorporate it as a virtue in daily living.

My personal vision is to live my life in such a way that other individuals around me can see the peace, respect, love and care I give in all that I do, AND….appreciate it enough to have the desire to grow themselves through my actions and eventually discover their own vision in life.