I have been very busy lately. I have a few more essays written and will post them after I return from vacation. I am leaving tomorrow morning for Michigan and will return home around the 9th or so.
Along with the essays, I plan to work on my altar/shrine area. I have places in my house and things in there that are special and such. When I thought about having one place to meditate and do daily devotionals, I looked at all of the various places in my house and just was not feeling it. See….I do my best with things like that when I am NOT inside a building. Since I am fortunate enough to live in an area that I can do such a thing outside, I wanted it to be OUTSIDE. There are 28 acres of land on my property with lots of Oaks and beautiful spots. The decision to put such an area outside was easy, picking the exact perfect spot was not.
I have an area under two VERY old Oaks that is a special area for me. I love it there and had intended on placing the altar/shrine there. I spent days out there looking for the perfect place and again…..was not feeling IT! There were great place but something always seemed to not feel right. I was mowing late Sunday and thinking the entire time about ADF and this path I have chosen to take. Near the end of the mowing (it takes 3 hours on a riding mower) I was coming aroung the back of the garage and there is a space out there that is secluded and the shade was so welcoming. I said…in my head….this place is so nice I often forget it is here, being behind the garage and near a barb wire fence. BUT…every time I venture back there I just want to lay down, sit down or just stand for awhile in silence. I went around the garage and came back to the area again….instantly I was hit with a sense of peace and serenity. After the third time around I got off the mower and stood there….and it hit me….this is IT!
It is PERFECT! I am adding a few pics on here. I have great plans for the area but want to keep it as natural as possible. It is facing East. The garage is behind you, which is somewhat of a drawback, but…my back will be facing it most of the time. It adds to the privacy and seclusion. I am including pics of facing North and South as well. Beautiful views either way. I have items already for my table when I get it up. I have some statues I will be moving to the area as well. I plan to put either a small fountain or a birdbath in the area also.
So the area has been chosen finally, it is close to the house so I can venture out there barefoot each morning and/or night and spend time. I am excited about it and will begin moving things over there and getting it all put together when I get back from my trip!
The area I chose, the back of the garage is West.
Facing North
Facing South
Facing East, when I clear the area a little, I will have a view of
the woods down past the field, the branch and the pond below
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July 7, 2007
I have been studying a lot and am becoming somewhat frustrated.
I read something carefully and digest it. Only to discover, the next thing I read contradicts the first thing I read and I never read past I word I do not understand but when I research the word I discover it is not only spelled 4 different ways….each way has 4 different pronunciations. It is rather overwhelming and frustrating. Thanks be to thee Gods (can’t name them because there are 50,000 and each have 4 spellings and pronunciations) but….I am ever so thankful for Alex and Don. I also appreciate the feedback I got from Chronarchy as well. That was very beneficial, as I look up to him and respect what he has to say.
I will continue my studies and devote time to each day for them. I have become overly stressed in other areas of my life and need this as an escape route. I will be working on my Circle this weekend if things go as planned. I am doing a very nice one up behind the house on flat ground. (For those who do not know I live very secluded and behind a locked gate.) I am doing this one because one of the members of my study group is handicapped and would not be able to make it through the field, across the creek and down into the woods, which is where I initially planned to place it. I do however have a fondness for that area, as it is 100% secluded, surrounded by woods and the pond nearby and two small branches on each side of the area. So I plan to have a permanent area there as well, mainly for myself but open to others in the future grove who needs the place to go to in order to be alone for awhile.
So that is in the making, I am working on ideas for my home shrine as well. I have been writing a lot of poetry lately and need to get more added to my LJ. I have considered painting again, or maybe drawing at least. Sketching is something I can do anywhere and I have always enjoyed that in the past. I just hope my last years battle with ill health has not destroyed my ability to draw.
So I am busy and will have another essay done very soon I hope. I need to get back to Santeetlah. I need a fix in a very bad way. I may make a trip up there this weekend sometime. If not there, then Lost Creek or somewhere secluded.
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I am at Santeetlah Creek for 3 days and my goal is to finish my essay on Piety. I am struggling with it for some reason. I went down to the Creek to write. When I picked up my pen I went blank. My mind then wandered to the cave across the creek. Wandering is the bobcat I heard last night was sleeping soundly inside. I envisioned it sensed my presence and put its spirit on guard once it realized I was trying to invade its thoughts. I imagined what forest spirits call the cave home during the night hours, when the bobcat strolls through the forest, along the banks of Santeetlah at night, prowling in certain beauty. Did one enter too early, or the other leave too late, when the angry encounter occurred last night.
A dragonfly landed on my arm, then lighting gently on the tip of my pen, as if to say “write friend, write of your piety”. I spent time in reverence of this strange little creature. Just a few days ago I sat in awe watching one of its sisters lay eggs at the edge of the water. In looking at this one, still resting on my pen, I simply say, “you are beautiful”. It flitted back and forth in front of me for a few seconds before venturing off. A flash of red caught my eye among all the green. As I watched closely, a Scarlett Tanager made its way through the Rhododendron and Mountain Laurel. It perched upon a broken branch of an old, wise Hemlock Tree and sang a short song before flying upstream. “Thank you”, I said, mentally sending the silent appreciation through the echoes of cascading water. I watched in awe as Nature appeased my need for solitude.
As I leaned over to rest my head on a gnarled branch of Rhododendron, my eyes caught sight of a Mighty Oak across the creek. I am sure the Great Mother placed him there to stand guard over this place. He could see me watching him. I tell him I am one of the good humans and I am here only to honor and respect him. I swear I could hear him say, “I know”. I have never felt so ONE with the WHOLE before. Oh yeah…Piety….my essay, I need to get it done, finish writing it before I leave here. I heard a voice from the wise spirit across the creek….”I think you just wrote it”.
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I have arrived dear friend
You sense my presence long before you see
Me walking through the forest
With tears in my eyes
Just wanting to touch you
And praying to Danu
Please let him still be there
Please let him remember me
The floor of your home
Softened by centuries of seasons
The moss is not as green as it use to be
Where are all of our mushroom friends?
Who moved your brothers corpse from this place?
I see the signs of the end
And I pray
Please let him still be there
Please let him remember me
Speeding past Rattlesnake Plantain
Fiddle heads, trillium, ladyslipper
Your love to my right
Cascading as she has for thousands of years
And I call to the cherished ones
Danu, Cernunnos, Cerridwen, Lugh
I pray
Please let him still be there
Please let him remember me
Santeetlah calls to me dear friend
Tears form in my eyes
As I tell her she will have to wait
I must see you
I must tell you I am still alive
I must whisper my secret to you
Touch your hardened flesh
See if you remember
Please still be there
Please remember me
And as I speed my pace
Around your fallen kin
I see you in a distance
And run now
To you
I sob openly
And your spirit smiles
“I knew you would return”
And I place my arms around you
My tears give nourishment to your roots
I whisper to you
The words of my heart
My eyes fall to the ground
Where many days I sat
Releasing my woes
Deciphering thoughts and fears
Gaining needed sleep
Loving you
Becoming one with the spirit that resides inside
Building energy
Suddenly releasing it into the forest
Protection for all
Hear us Santeetlah
Gain strength from this love
And it all comes back to me now
What all we have shared
Together
I think of you more than I should
I cherish all you have given
Shared
And my wisdom grows through you
My wise dear friend
My lips pressed to you gently
I whisper
Please always be here
Please never forget
I walk slowly to your first love
Santeetlah
And you know
At the same moment I do
Dead needles fall like corpses from your branches
Like tears falling down on me
I look back to you
Do not cry my dear friend
I will always be here
I will never forget
(a picture of the real Hemlock Tree the above poem is dedicated to)
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June 18, 2006
In a few hours I will be on my way to Santeetlah Creek for a few days vacation. I am excited to get a chance to get away for a few days camping and relaxation. I will work hard to not let my OCD tendencies ruin it by worrying about work and such. LOL!
I will not be back until Thursday this week. WITH…..my piety essay done and at least one book read! YAY
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June 15, 2006
Lately I have found myself in deep need of EARTH! I have noticed I am easily frustrated. I have been going through some changes mentally and spiritually this past year. I have most of the things I need right outside my backdoor. But there is one place that is like a sister to me. It is called Santeetlah Creek and when I come close to her I get this indescribable feeling inside me. It I like part of my SELF is already there waiting on me and to make my way down the trail, hear her singing as she has done for centuries before me, I want to run to her, make my way through the rhododendron, laurel, dog hobble, giving a quick hello to the destroying angel mushroom that always seems to reside there on her banks. Off goes the shoes, then pants and top and I want to dive into her soul, but I stop in reverence and awe of her beauty. It is embedded in my memory forever, but each time I go….when I see her….it brings tears to my eyes. I honor her in silence and instead of diving head first into her beauty, I walk to her slowly, reach down and gently touch her, stroking the coolness at the edge of her being. She laughs and invites me in and I enter humbled. I could stay there forever, this sacred place, and wait out the rest of my being with her.
This need was so strong I put in for vacation days at work on a very short notice. To my surprise, they approved it and I get to leave Sunday. I will be spending 3-4 days with one of the dearest, oldest, wisest souls I have ever known. My beautiful Santeetlah. I can smell the Earth, feel the coolness of her, hear the spirits that reside along her banks….and know in a few days I will be there and I am more anxious than ever before.
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June 13, 2006
I am in desperate need to get away from all of this. I need to get away from the computer, TV, man made sounds, work, chores, everything. I need to breathe and I need to feel something besides all of THIS. I want to sit by Santeetlah Creek, my oldest and dearest friend, I want to read, listen, see, feel, know, experience, taste everything it has to offer to me. I need to feel the cold water running over my body at midnight, sit on my dear old rock and watch the sun rays fall through the trees and into the water, hear the Owl and know he still approves of me, hear my friends sing me to sleep, watch in silence and anticipation for the arrival of the Moon.
I am thirsty for seclusion. I need to make love to a tree.
I was approved for 3 days vacation next week. I will be leaving Sunday and return home Wednesday. I am working on my Piety essay.
I will update again before I leave and will return with lots of pictures and stories.
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Today I lay upon your breast
Darling mother of mine
I placed my face upon a stone
Weathered by your children
Wind and Rain
I felt your heart beat
From deep within this brother of mine
And I cried
Through misty eyes I looked before me
Your beauty warms by soul
An Oath to make
Before an assembly of my peers
Trees, Stones, Streams
My brothers and sisters in animal form
All come to witness
And I cried
I sit before you humbled
In awe I speak my words
“Seeker of the Old Ways”
My dearest friends the Trees
Sigh knowingly in approval
“Worshipper of the Elder Gods”
And my glance falls to the stones
All knowing, ancient and wise
And I cried
Hear me dear Mother
I am blessed by your love
My vows hold the truths of my heart
I shall cherish and adore you
Beyond my last breath
Then my soul shall continue the walk
To honor you as my Goddess above all
These things I swear to the Gods
May the mates of my soul bear witness
These trees I call my brethren
I shall strive to enhance the beauty that is you
Humbly
And I cried
With your sweet breath some call the wind
You dry my eyes
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